You think I don’t write about you anymore, but I do.
I just don’t hit publish.
Instead, I save my words about you for a rainy day. Or something.
Maybe when we’re finished, when it’s all said and done, I’ll publish them. Give them life.
Or maybe I’ll throw the stories away.
They were probably never interesting to anyone but me. You never read them.
So why did I even write them?
I guess I wrote to try and understand it all.
Mainly I wanted to decipher why I always sought and longed for your approval, admiration, and respect.
And why you fought equally as hard to never give it.
You say I took the name in vain
You don’t even know the name
But if I did, well really, what’s it to you?
There’s a blaze of light in every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah