Doug is fading fast, so I reached out to his mistress

Oh. You thought I was Doug’s mistress?

I’m the one who said no. I did care about him though.

Part of that care found me leaving his house Wednesday and stopping at the Walgreens on the corner to try and contact the other woman.

Yes he is married. I’m not defending what they did. I didn’t like her one bit and she was truly (mostly) bad for him.

But he asked me to “tell her.”

I knew what he meant.

I also knew (but hated to admit) that she brought him joy in those weeks between his cancer treatments.

He buried his reality and traveled through several states and into Canada with her. They stopped at every river they crossed and took selfies, lighting up their individual Instagrams like the 4th of July.

She was young and alive with love for him. He was staring down both barrels of death.

It was probably easy to rationalize their affair by believing that what the wife didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

I’m not excusing what they did. But a part of me understands it.


I was also motivated to contact the mistress in order to protect Julie, Doug’s wife.

Monday was the last day Doug was able to use his phone and I’d noticed that Julie had it charging next to her chair Wednesday.

I didn’t think she deserved to inadvertently receive any frantic messages from women she has no idea Doug even knew.


It was still hard though. I sat a few minutes biting my lip and taking deep breaths.

Then I hear Asa’s voice, like a little Jewish conscience in my heart.

And from somewhere in me came compassion for the mistress.

She has no way of knowing what’s going on, if Doug is alive or dead.

Whatever I thought about the situation, (I hated it) and whatever I thought about her personally, (jealousy mixed with disgust), I knew I had to reach out to her for all of the above reasons.

So I contacted the mistress.

Since she had followed me on Twitter several months ago I followed her back and sent a DM.

“Nancy, it’s Angel. I just left Doug’s house. My number is 867-5309 if you want to call.”

My phone rang before I could even put my car in reverse.

“Is he dead?” she blurted out. Then she burst into tears.

To be continued…

[I’m not a hero here…I was tempted to do what she did. I just didn’t do it.]

Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back

Like a river that don’t know where it’s flowing
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going

Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody’s got a hungry heart

I met her in a Kingstown bar
We fell in love I knew it had to end
We took what we had and we ripped it apart
Now here I am down in Kingstown again

Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody’s got a hungry heart

Everybody needs a place to rest
Everybody wants to have a home
Don’t make no difference what nobody says
Ain’t nobody like to be alone

Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Everybody’s got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody’s got a hungry heart



  1. Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
    My Featured Blogger this week is Angel at Watch You Life in Pictures, whose blog site’s subtitle is “We Gathered Life, Only to Find…” Angel is a bit of an enigma, a woman who says little about herself, but writes with fascinating insight and compassion about others. When you read her updates on the people she’s collected (some of whom she works with as a teacher or counselor), you can’t help but care about them, warts and all, the way she does. And, although she might complain, about Angel herself. And, by extension, the entire wonderful, broken, hopeful human race.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. I am incredibly amazed at your strength, compassion, thoughtfulness and care. You have never cease to surprise me. I honestly don’t know how you do it. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotional toll it must take on you. I am so glad you are able to use this as an outlet. I am humbled by you and am blessed to be your friend. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I saw your post concerning Doug but couldn’t reach you thru it. Knowing you, you are focused on others grief and nursing their pain. Make sure that in the midst, you are taking care of you.
    This chapter of your story and his has concluded and it’s time to close this book but what kind of a story has it been in retrospect?
    He hurt you, toyed with your emotions, often cruel…..cry for this BUT through it, you not only healed but found your inner strength, strength to weather the hurt, faith to overcome bitterness, grace to forgive and love to comfort his and others final days. There were beauty in the ashes, for you…for him too. He, a change of perspective, of heart, leaving kinder and with the gift of being forgiven and cared for fully. Cry Angel and rejoice.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Laura my sweet friend who helped me so much: thank you for this comment! I took the post down about Doug’s death because people were sweetly saying things like, “sorry for the loss of your friend.” And I just felt so guilty about that due to the circumstances.

      I want to revisit it in time though, and if it’s ok, I’d like to use your comment as a jumping off place because you so eloquently summed the entire thing up!

      Hugs and thank you for being a friend to me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Absolutely, Angel…anything y
        For you, sweet friend.
        Retrospect is a wonderful thing. I see no reason for quit, Angel. When you look back and this chapter of your life…in its entirety, I think you’ll see a story that’s come full circle and through it found beauty from ash, all the while, growing in grace. 💕 you are a lovely spirit, Angel


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