That crazy conversation, where we took turns finishing each other’s sentences?
It changed me.
I’m not sure why, but it did.
It made me believe that this friendship mattered to you.
(You’ve given me so much evidence before. I don’t know why I struggled so much with that…)
It made me believe that I wasn’t going to wake up one day and never hear from you again.
The words we spoke that night took away my fear and replaced it with surety.
You gave me peace.
“A steady place to let down my defenses …”
Tonight I’m trying to give back a tiny tiny portion of everything you’ve given me in the past eleven months.
Joy. Confidence. Strength. Patience. Love.
I know you’ve felt edgy lately. Worried? Tired. Lonely. Even frustrated.
I hear it in your voice and read it in your words.
I turned off my notifications last Wednesday because I was taking it personally.
When I realized how silly that was I turned them back on. But still.
I know that whatever you are dealing with right now isn’t me, and in all actuality has nothing to do with me.
(I also know that once you get some rest and think things through you’ll level up.)
I tried to open the door last night and let you know we could talk about whatever it is, and all the things.
But you’re an artful dodger.
And I’m not one to try and pressure you to talk, even if I’m worried about you.
You however have skills skills skills where that is concerned!
So many times you have lifted my burdens. Why can’t I do the same for you?
I digress …
Tonight when you apologized, I acted like I had no clue what you meant.
I really did though.
But honestly my sweet friend, everything was okay on my end. I wasn’t mad or hurt or bothered.
(Unless it was only aimed at myself because I don’t feel like I’ve been very much help to you lately.)
But no apology was needed, precious though it was of you to give it.
“Angel, finish this sentence: Angel is important to Asa because …”
“… Because she absorbs his moods.
And she says, “Everything will be ok buddy, I believe in you.”
And I do.
All, all that you dream
Comes to shine in silver lining
And clouds, clouds change the scene
Rain starts washing all these cautions
Right into your life, make you realize
Just what is true, what else can I do
Just follow the rule
Keep your eyes on the road that’s ahead of you
All of the good, good times were ours
In the land of milk and honey
And time, time has its scars
Rainy days they turn to sunny ones
Livin’ the life, livin’ the life lovin’ everyone
Little Feat – All That You Dream